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Every marriage starts with a lot of hope and dream about life long
association filled with love and togetherness. But very few
marriages fulfill the hopes of the participants in totality.
There are various reasons for this but here we single out six of
those. Every young person who is planning marriage should be aware
of these most common pitfalls.
1.
Marrying for the sake of love without first checking the depth of
love.
No
denying that all relationships start with a sense of love and mutual
liking. Committing to a long term relationship like marriage solely
on the basis of that feeling of love is a mistake. Because most of
the time this kind of feeling is superficial and can not pass the
test of time. Romantic feeling dies as time passes and far more
important issues like 'family background', 'values', 'religious
faith', 'financial stability' raise their head, and these issues are
of real importance which almost every body with feeling of mutual
love ignore.
2.
Marrying someone who does not share an interest or hobby.
While marriage with a person who does not share an interest or hobby
does not itself make the marriage unstable, presence of such an
interest or hobby can make life more enjoyable for both the
partners. And this can make a real difference so while selecting
life partner this aspect must be taken into account.
But
for some reason or other this aspect is often overlooked before
marriage. And efforts start after marriage to adapt the partner to
one's own interest or develop a new common interest. While that is
not an impossible task, the process of adapting may become un-
palatable and may lead to unstable marriage.
3.
Not knowing what questions to ask for checking compatibility.
As
discussed earlier that marriage decision based on initial sense of
love may be counter productive. To make a marriage successful one
should do some simple homework. Knowledge of future partner's
background and certain other things can play a crucial role here.
But many young persons either do not try to know all these important
facts or do not know what are important aspects s/he must know to
make their marriage successful.
4.
Thinking proper and careful quarries may offend her/him.
One
may think that too much investigation about future partner's back
ground may not be a good idea. As the other partner may find it
distasteful. This kind of thought process keeps many young man and
woman from asking the right questions before marriage.
5.
Depending too much on a friend or relatives recommendation.
A
sizable number of young man and woman often get married on the
recommendation of relatives or friends. While generally relatives
and friends are regarded as well wishers, marrying on their
recommendation is not a good idea. As their knowledge of a person
can never equal to the knowledge the person has about herself or
himself. So the person to be married is in a much better position to
select compatible life partner. Best way out is acting on their
recommendation only after successful completion of compatibility
check.
6.
Getting married to make somebody else happy.
Sometimes people get married to make someone else happy. It may be
parents or it may be relatives. There is no problem in making
someone happy if that does not jeopardize one's own marriage. But
most of time in such cases marriages occur without exercising enough
caution. As a result one may end up marrying someone not compatible.
If
you are really serious to make your marriage an exciting, loving and
enriching experience you need to be careful about the above things
before your marriage.
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